The Man with the Purple Kneepads

I saw a man on the sidewalk taking pictures the other day. This man had purple kneepads strapped on whilst taking pictures from the sidewalk. As I neared, he appeared sane enough, and we said hi and I continued on my way as if I had not seen a man standing on the sidewalk in purple kneepads. I began to think to myself, Self, why in the world is he wearing purple kneepads? Perhaps, I replied, he just likes purple. No, I argued, you know that's not what I meant; why is he wearing kneepads, period? How was I supposed to know what you meant, I countered, when you're obviously not lucid enough to convey such an uncomplicated query? Besides, I continued, you don't know what the future holds. And you're making the assumption that he doesn't, either. And who's to say he's not the sharpest spoon in the drawer? A kneepad is a much more logical piece of safety equipment than, say, a belly button pad or a big toe guard. I shall concede your point for the moment, said I, only to argue that you cannot see into that man's mind. Perhaps the kneepads have nothing at all to do with safety, but rather he is accessorizing. Or he forgot to take them off after his jaunt in the skateboarding park. Or they were a Christmas gift from his mother-in-law and she's come over for coffee so he must wear them. The possibilities are endless! And you must admit that this includes, but is not limited to, the prospect that THE MAN IS INSANE! Well, I would concede your point but for one thing, my dear. Christmas has not yet come, and a man as sane as that would have found a reasonable excuse since last Christmas as to why they are nonfunctional. Case and point: he is as sane as the rest of us.