No, I'M bringing sexy back...

Oh, pop culture. How I abhor thee. I can't pretend that I don't get swept up by it at times, but as far as shoes-, hip-hop-, and Starbucks-addicted cheerleaders go, I could've turned out a lot worse. I'm going to pretend that all of that is not the result of pop culture's effect on me, but rather that I would love it even if rubber boots, the Gaithers, bean juice and lawnbowling were trendy. (As an aside, don't knock lawnbowling until you've tried it. It's pretty fun.) I can support this theory with three simple facts: 1) I don't own Dawgs; 2) I've never seen an episode of The OC or Grey's Anatomy; and 3) I've never had an energy drink-- not even the one in the hot pink can. Now that we've established that I can legitimately rant about pop culture, let's get to it. Just what is with all these awful trends? Skirts that could double as belts? Rapping about which ho you gonna get wit next? Backcombed hair? What are people thinking? And who comes up with these things??? Now, ranting is a reactive measure, plain and simple. I have a better, more proactive solution. I will be the univeral trendsetter. Yep. Me. Why me, you ask? Well, it's obvious-- I've been lawnbowling. Now hear me out. It's easy to agree that something is trendy if it's already trendy, but it takes a real trendsetter to make something like lawnbowling groovy. (As well, I would like people to start using words like "groovy" and "tubular" again. Just to see someone say it with a straight face.) So move over Justin Timberlake and Paris Hilton; you're like so five minutes ago. Hop on this totally rad bandwagon and go out and lawnbowl. In your rubber boots while rocking out to the Gaithers on your IPODs and sipping bean juice.