Decade II: Attack of the Crazies

I don't know about you, but I've noticed a sharp increase in the amount of people who walk our streets who instead should be walking the halls of a mental institution. I am in the process of rereading a book entitled “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy". If you haven’t read it, do. And no, watching the movie doesn’t count. In any case, there is a character in the book named Wonko the Sane. Just hang in there; you’ll see where I’m going with this in a minute. Now, Wonko the Sane has built an asylum. This asylum, however, is extraordinarily different than what you’re thinking of. This asylum is filled with people who, yes, are absolutely stir-crazy and should be locked up and the key thrown away. They are treated as complete morons, but, to put it bluntly, that’s because they are. They are even instructed on how to use toothpicks. To be honest, I’m not convinced they’d be able to do so otherwise. Which is precisely what drove Wonko the Sane to build a place to confine them all so he wouldn’t have to deal with them and their potential toothpick problems. Wonko builds an asylum that is essentially inside out—and outside in. Above the door, he pins the toothpick instructions in the event that he is ever tempted to go in: Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion. So, in the end, you don’t have to worry about all those crazies you see walking the streets, talking on their phones, washing their cars—they’re already taken care of. Wouldn’t life be easier if we all went sane?